CARLSBAD CAVERNS, 2022
Nemesis She, 2019
This is my body of thesis work, Nemesis She. I worked on this project from September to about mid-December of 2019. It's a deeply personal project that helped me express a lot of emotion that I don't often do in my work, and although my relationship to the topics I discuss in this project have changed since, I still have a lot of love for the work I did here. My relationship to femininity and gender, at the time of writing this post, has softened some and departed from the intense binary that I once felt, which was part of what drove me to create this work at the time. Looking back, it came from a place of venomous anger for the bonds of womanhood and stubborn passion I had for finding a way to break them for myself, which I have now shed in releasing myself from the need to be completely a "woman". I am a woman, but my definition and understanding of the term, for others and for myself, has broadened considerably and I no longer feel so tightly bound by my gender. Cheers to healing and personal growth.
I created a total of 8 pieces for the project, 5 illustrations, a swords, and a pair of twin handbound books that include my process and the writing I did to accompany the work. I will attempt to present it here, similarly to how I do in the books. Enjoy.
For all the women who find kinship in rage.
Thank you to my family and friends, your immeasurable support means the world to me.
This body of work is an attempt to unpack some of the complexities of womanhood. There are a great number of ways to feel about being a woman, but I find myself feeling enraged more than anything else. It is infuriating to have spent my whole life becoming a woman in the way I want to be, and to be told that I am not doing it right. To experience archaic patriarchal customs that have survived in the insidious tradition of oppression, resulting in a modern culture that systematically marginalizes women simply for being women. Despite my best efforts, I still find myself affected by the societal standard that women are less than men. My femininity is a source of personal power and I love it deeply. I feel fury when it is disallowed by others without invitation, interpreted as incorrect because they are uncomfortable.
I do not exist for you and I will not apologize for my wrath.
Making Of The Black Book